


Goodbye

by TwistedIllusions



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Whump, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedIllusions/pseuds/TwistedIllusions
Summary: ***SEASON 2 SPOILERS***“Hey Klaus, it’s getting late. Are you up?”Sighing, Klaus rested his ‘Hello’ palm against his stomach and said, “Yeah, I’m up.”“You okay?” Diego asked, eyebrows furrowed with a deep concern.“M’fine, just...didn’t sleep well, I guess.”Diego nodded, his grip tightening against the door handle. “Too loud?”“No,” Klaus admitted solemnly, tucking his knees to his chest and closing his eyes. “Too quiet.”
Comments: 66
Kudos: 331





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda a vent session for me. Y’all, I LOVED season 2 but I felt they did Klaus’s character so dirty this season. I could go into detail but I shall refrain because it would wind up longer than this story is lol 
> 
> They didn’t let Klaus grieve the loss of Ben, so this is me giving him that moment. I hope you enjoy.

“Hey, Klaus,” a knock against the doorframe caught Klaus’s attention. He was laying in bed attempting yet failing to rest. Inhaling sharply, he tilted his gaze to meet Diego’s awaiting brown eyes. “It’s getting late, are you up?”

Sighing, Klaus rested his ‘Hello’ palm against his stomach and said, “Yeah, I’m up.”

“Well, come on, hurry up. We should head downstairs, the others are waiting for us—“

“Why don’t you go ahead, I’ll be down soon,” Klaus suggested weakly. Hugging the thick plaid comforter against his slender chest, Klaus curled up tighter beneath the blanket, shrinking himself as much as he could. Reaching a shaky hand to his head, he massaged at his pounding temples, fixing his weary gaze to the empty space on the barren wall beside him. “I just need a few more minutes.” 

“You okay?” Diego asked, eyebrows furrowed with a deep concern.

“M’fine, just...didn’t sleep well, I guess.”

Diego nodded, his grip tightening against the door handle. “Too loud?” He asked. He knew how loud the ghosts could get, how deafening. He knew that alcohol could take the edge off but never dull it out completely. He also knew that Klaus hadn’t had anything to drink since yesterday, so the numbness must’ve begun to wear off and allow the buzz of the dead to seep back in.

“No,” Klaus admitted solemnly, tucking his knees to his chest and closing his eyes. “ _Too quiet_.”

Diego’s expression softened, warm eyes filling with his own tears as he observed his brother’s quiet disposition. Quiet was not a word Diego would often use to describe Klaus. In fact, it was the complete opposite of how he typically found his brother to be. Last time Diego had seen Klaus this reserved had been when he lost someone. So, of course it came as no surprise for his brother to act this way now.

_Ben._

It was no wonder, to be fair. The news of Ben sacrificing himself to save Vanya—to save the _world_ came as a shock to each of them. Diego remembered the joy he felt as he held Ben. It was strange, having him be inside Klaus’s body, but there was no denying that was the brother he’d lost so long ago. He only wished he’d held on a little while longer knowing now that it’d be his last time to hold him in his arms, feel the warmth of his skin or the pounding of his heart against his own. It was sad, really, the lack of closure any of them got with their brother—after either of his deaths. 

But while difficult for himself to fathom the loss of Ben, Diego could not even begin to understand the pain Klaus must be feeling. For over seventeen years Klaus had Ben by his side. He was his rock when times were tough, his anchor to hold him down and keep him grounded when his world began to crumble out from beneath him. Ben had been Klaus’s shoulder to cry on when he was the most alone he’d ever been in his life; living in squalor on the streets. Ben had been Klaus’s entire world, his only circle of support during each stint in rehab, or jail. He stood beside him, metaphorically holding his hand through each of his overdoses and coached him through each of his PTSD attacks when he returned home from the war. Ben was all Klaus had for as long as he could remember, and now...now he was gone. Gone forever in a flash of blue light—gone in an instant. 

_Without so much as a goodbye…_

“You, uh..want to talk about it?”

“No,” Klaus said, running the back of his hand beneath his nose as he sniffled back his unshed tears. “I’ll be down soon.”

A silence filled the air. Diego unsure how to go about comforting his brother, and Klaus clearly not wanting to be comforted—not by Diego, at least.

“I’m okay, Diego.” Klaus assured his brother, though the wavering tone to his voice was anything but reassuring. 

“Klaus, it’s just - if you, I mean..you can talk to me, bro—“

“There’s nothing to talk about!” Klaus said, voice pitched and shoulders tense. “I’m okay, please, just go.” He begged, allowing his body to relax back against the firm mattress. “I’m fine. Now go, I’ll be right down.”

Defeated, Diego sighed, running his fingers through his unruly locks of hair before he nodded. “Alright,” he said, turning to leave. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. I’m...I’m here for you, bro.” Klaus didn’t respond, only curled himself up tighter within the blankets. Diego nodded one last time, closing the door behind him.

Once again Klaus was met by a thick silence surrounding him. In the three years he’d spent in this timeline with Ben he’d learned to banish the ghosts away, leaving him with only Ben. Now, everything was quiet.

Too quiet…

Too still…

His head pounded by the deafening silence of it all. Klaus felt empty. The moment he sat up in that FBI agency he felt different. His head spun leaving him nearly dizzy, but it wasn’t from the trauma his body endured trying to help Vanya. It was because a piece of himself was missing. Quite possibly his most important piece. It was weird, really. Klaus didn’t know how to explain it but without Vanya ever saying a word Klaus immediately knew something was wrong. He could sense the loss of his brother. When Vanya crouched before him, laying her tiny hand against his shoulder; big brown doe eyes filled with tears he already knew what she would say.

_‘Klaus I...I’m so sorry..Ben, he...he’s gone.’_

Klaus couldn’t formulate into words what he felt in that moment. Loss, emptiness, even a sense of betrayal? How could Ben do that? It was selfless, it was brave...but it was stupid. Why didn’t he just possess him? Maybe using Klaus’s body to stop her the outcome could have been different? 

Why did Ben have to die? 

Again? 

It wasn’t fair!

Klaus rolled onto his back, resting his trembling hands against his stomach. He sniffled, a tear rolling off his cheek as he stared up at the blank white ceiling above him.

“Hey, Benerino,” Klaus began softly, but sadly he was met by silence. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” He continued. “You not being here.”

Klaus’s lip quivered as more tears tumbled over his sharp cheekbones. “It’s just...I’m sorry, Benny. I’m sorry I failed you. Not that it’s much of a surprise, I’ve failed you your entire life and afterlife.” A strangled sob escaped his lips. “I just wish we had more time, you know? Seventeen years just flew by in the blink of an eye. Poof,” he splayed his fingers in the air. “Gone like the wind.”

Klaus’s chest heaved a sharp breath as another sob tore through his diaphragm. “I’m so sorry, Benny!” He cried, big green eyes pooling with an overabundance of unshed tears. “I am so sorry. All you ever wanted was to be a part of the family, to be included and I shut you out. I never let you even say hi, and you never got to say goodbye. I was..I was fucking terrible to you. After everything you’ve done for me, and then I...I—-“ Klaus’s heart clenched from the agony within his soul. He’d kept his brother from his siblings. He’d ruined his only chance at closure. “You’re not perfect either, you know,” he started. “Taking over my body like that, holding me hostage within my own skin. That was wrong, Benny. I was scared, and it hurt. But what hurt most was that out of anyone you _knew_ why taking advantage of me like that was so wrong. Then again, it’d happened my whole life...maybe I did deserve it.” Klaus inhaled sharply, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Maybe...maybe I should have just let you take over me, though. Maybe if I had, then you’d still be here. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Diego was happy when he found out. Shit, he was happier to see you than he was to see me. I’m not surprised, I’m sure everyone would have been. They’ve always liked you better, Benny. Can’t say that I blame them. I always liked you better, too.”

Klaus clenched his eyes shut, rolling onto his side. His chest heaved through his sobs, ribs digging uncomfortably into the hard mattress beneath him. “Neither of us were perfect,” he whispered. “We both made plenty of mistakes over the years, I can’t say that I blame you for what you did. If the roles had been reversed it’d be a lie if I said I wouldn’t probably do the same. Hell, I would have probably done worse. You know I’m a fuck up, Benny. You’ve seen me at my worst, and at what was my pitiful excuse of a best.”

“I miss you so much, Benny,” Klaus whispered. He was shaking, his body quaking beneath the sheets. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. Where do I go from here? I don’t even know who I am without you. You were right, you know; without you I would have been dead in a ditch somewhere. You’re the only reason I’m alive, Benny. If it weren’t for your guidance and support I would have died years ago. Shit, I _wanted_ to die years ago. But you were always there. My little bastard angel on my shoulder,” he rasped out a wet laugh. “I don’t know what to do without you. I just...I feel so lost and alone, Ben. So alone.”

“I’m so proud of you, Ben,” Klaus’s quivering lips tugged into a fond smile. “So incredibly proud of you. What you did to save Vanya? To save the world? You’re so much more brave than you ever gave yourself credit for. You’re a hero, Benny. You’re the hero among all of us. I just...I only wish I could have gotten to say goodbye, brother.” Klaus closed his eyes, running his slender fingers over them to wipe away his tears. 

After a while, Klaus slowly leveraged himself up until he was sitting on the edge of the mattress. He faintly registered the aching in his bones after yesterday. He was tired; exhausted, really. Both physically and mentally, and his head was pounding. But he knew that he should be grateful. He was here. He was _alive_. All thanks to Ben’s selfless act. He only wished that Ben could still be here too. 

“It should have been me, Benny,” Klaus whispered. “I’m sorry...It should have been me.”

Klaus scrubbed his slender hands down his face, attempting to hide the evidence of his tears before getting dressed to head downstairs. He only hoped his siblings wouldn’t notice his red puffy eyes—wouldn’t realize that he’d been crying. But as Klaus descended the staircase, weakly allowing his body to slump against the final step he quickly realized that he didn’t need to worry about that, because nobody did notice. 

Nobody even cared.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know it ended kinda sad. But here’s the thing—the siblings were awful to Klaus this season. Allison and Vanya had great moments, but when Klaus was possessed and they thought he was seizing or OD’ing and no one cared, or when he said he felt violated “you had no right to possess me” or later in the alley when he was left physically ILL after Ben refused to give his body back? I was so upset. He was treated like garbage and used solely for comedic relief this season. What were everyone else’s opinions? I’d love to hear them! Overall I loved this season though, I just wish Klaus had been treated better and given an opportunity for a better arc. End rant. Lol 😂


End file.
